Are you your own worst enemy? Article by Drew Ryder


 Are you your own worst enemy?

People talk to themselves every single day.  This self-talk can benefit you or it can destroy you.  Do you beat your- self up on a regular with your negative self-talk? Then you could be your own worst enemy.

Whatever YOU say about YOU is registered by your deeper mind (sub-conscious) and your deeper mind is responsible for the way you feel.  It’s impossible to have negative beliefs about the self and to feel confident.  The way you feel affects your whole body and is seen by others as the way you look, the way you stand and the way you speak.

If you have been continually beating your-self up with constant negative self-talk, then it is most likely that you have low self-esteem and a low self-worth and a distinct lack of confidence.   Where does this stem from?

Every single person with low self- esteem has been criticised by others.  This usually begins with family members, and is carried on via friends, work colleagues, and partners, because the victim has believed what was said about them, and as a result has drawn the same criticising people into their lives.   Ultimately the victim ends up carrying on this pattern themselves simply because the pattern of criticism has become familiar.

Criticism destroys confidence.  Persistent negative self-talk has to be overcome before self- esteem can be improved.   How?

Just as negative talk can destroy a person, constructive talk builds a person back up again.  EFT is an extremely constructive tool in enabling a person to recognise that they do indeed have value and are worthy.  It can help build self-confidence.

It does this by working with your sub-conscious mind to reverse the limiting beliefs that you have held onto, that have been imposed upon you by others.

By working with EFT you can recover and build upon the self-esteem you were born with.  It’s still inside you, even if it has been supressed.  You can re-contact with the self-esteem you were born with by means of the right tools.  EFT provides these tools.  No-one is born with negative self-esteem.

To conclude,

  • EFT can remove old patterns and re-establish new ones
  • It is a method of healing
  • EFT is a way of actively training your mind and nervous system to adopt a different attitude to your problem and therefore overcome it
  • It is easy to use
  • And a highly effective treatment

If you have concerns about your self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Live your best life!! You deserve it!


Reposted with blessings from:

Self-Compassion Fosters Mental Health – Scientific American article

A great article for those of us that are self-employed and maybe let the self-care slip a bit:

Research shows how to reap the benefits of self-compassion

By Marina Krakovsky


Image: GROVE PASHLEY Getty Images

Being kind to yourself is a surefire way to improve your mental health and reach your goals, a growing body of work suggests. Now research has revealed an easy way to boost this self-compassion—by showing kindness to others.

Self-compassion is distinct from self-esteem, a trait that can shade into narcissism. Nor should it be confused with self-pity or self-indulgence. “Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness and care you’d treat a friend,” says Kristin Neff, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and the leading researcher in the growing field of self-compassion. People who are self-compassionate avoid harsh cri-tiques or negative generalizations of themselves, and they see their troubles as part of the human condition.

Research is showing that this gentle, nonjudgmental approach helps individuals bounce back even after major crises. For example, in a study in press at Psychological Science, scientists found that newly divorced people who spoke compassionately toward themselves adjusted significantly better in the following 10 months than those who spoke more harshly, with self-compassion outperforming self-esteem and even optimism as a predictor of good coping.

Contrary to what many people think, treating yourself kindly is also good for achieving your goals. “People believe that self-criticism helps to motivate them,” Neff says. Those low in self-compassion think that unless they are hard on themselves, they will not amount to much—but research reveals that being kind to yourself does not lower your standards. “With self-compassion, you reach just as high, but if you don’t reach your goals it’s okay because your sense of self-worth isn’t contingent on success,” she explains.

All of that is good news for the naturally self-compassionate, but what about the half of the population who tend to beat themselves up? Luckily, mounting research shows that you can cultivate your self-compassion through meditation and even simpler techniques. For example, pressing your hand against your heart or hiding this gesture in “a surreptitious hug” can give your self-compassion a momentary boost, Neff says.

A recent study at the University of California, Berkeley, suggests an even more surprising way to heighten self-compassion: acting compassionately toward others. In a presentation in January at the Society for Personality and Social Psychology conference, researchers Juliana Breines and Serena Chen described a set of experiments in which they asked one group of participants to give support to another person, such as writing down suggestions to make a friend feel better after causing a fender bender. Those in the support-giving condition went on to rate themselves higher in compassion for themselves than did participants who had been asked either to recall a fun time with a friend or to merely read about the suffering of others.

“There was a unique benefit to giving support—the benefit wasn’t just from feeling connected or realizing that others had problems, too,” explains Breines, a doctoral candidate in psychology and the study’s lead author. During tough times, people naturally tend to focus on themselves and find it difficult to support others, she says. “But actually, as many people intuitively discover, taking the opportunity to support other people can make you feel better about what you’re going through.”


If you are having personal challenges to better self-care, I can help you with that!

Lets talk. – Carol – Tapping Navigator Success Coach