One Unexpected Consequence of Successful EFT With Elders – guest post – Rob Nelson

I’ve been running into an interesting problem lately, one that actually seems to be caused by EFT itself.  It comes up most often with my older clients and has to do with how quickly and easily even long held problems can be released.
Some of these folks have been carrying a serious emotional burden for most of their life—sometimes fifty, sixty years or more.  When they experience the sudden release of their emotional pain, they are unexpectedly confronted with just how easy it was to simply “slough it off” and be free.

Because it seems so easy, my clients are often faced with the reality that many years were needlessly tainted by their problem (never mind that EFT hadn’t been developed yet).  Instead of feeling grateful for the sudden relief, feelings of deep sadness, regret or even bitterness may arise for these clients.

I’ve begun watching for this reaction, which might be summed up with the words “I’ll never get those years back” or “all those years wasted”.  This is a real issue, and the feelings of grief or bitterness may be profound.  Fortunately they can be tapped away, usually in just a few rounds:

“Even though I’ll never get those years back and it feels like such a loss, I forgive myself for taking so long to get over it….”

“Even though those should have been the best years of my life and they were wasted by all of this needless anger (or shame or whatever the problem was), I let go of the past and embrace who I am today…”

“Even though I have all this sorrow and regret over what might have been, I chose to deeply love and completely accept myself and give thanks for the time I have left to enjoy…”
“Even though so many years were lost to this suffering, I am now free to fully experience this present moment in all of its potential…”

This extra step can make a huge difference, helping to bring closure to the original issue and re-orient the client away from lost potential and towards enjoying their newfound emotional freedom.


Rob Nelson –

Nine Years of Neck Pain Gone in Ten Minutes – guest article from Rob Nelson

Nine Years of Neck Pain Gone in Ten Minutes

For many years I had a massage therapy practice, and every so often I still see a few of my old clients.

“Judy” had been coming to me for about nine years.  She had been injured doing assembly work in a factory, and every few months her neck and shoulders would get so tight she’d end up with terrible headaches.  When the pain was too intense she’d come to me for massage and that would usually do the trick for about six weeks or so.

One day Judy showed up for a massage in just terrible shape.  Her neck was so stiff she couldn’t even turn her head from side to side—she had to move her whole torso.  Her pain was about a 9 out of 10.  She was in such distress I decided we should try some tapping before the massage.  I had no idea whether it would really help—she’d once told me about seeing the damage to her neck on x-rays, but I knew we should try it.

I had Judy tap on her karate chop point and repeat: “Even though I have this neck pain, I deeply and completely accept myself”.  I had her say this three times, then we went through the full basic recipe, with the 9 gamut and all, using “this neck pain” as the reminder phrase.  Her pain level dropped pretty quickly down to a 6 or 7.  That got her attention!

We followed up with “Even though I still have some of this neck pain” with the reminder phrase “this remaining neck pain”.  This dropped the pain level down to about a 4, then another round got it down to a 3.  At this point progress seemed to stall, so I asked if she thought there was an emotional contributor to the pain.  Judy didn’t blink an eye “Oh yes!” she said, “anger!”.

So next we tapped on:
“Even though this pain has kept me from living the life I wanted to live.”
“Even though I’m angry at my supervisor for not protecting me.”
“Even though I’m angry at the company for trying to deny my disability claim”
“Even though I’m totally sick of this pain and angry it won’t get better”
“Even though I’m angry at my body”.

After a few rounds of this, her pain was down to zero. Judy was astonished! She began moving her head from side to side, cautiously at first but then swinging it all around wildly.  I found this quite alarming, but Judy was ecstatic—pain free for the first time in years.

I had been watching the clock and in just ten minutes we’d accomplished far more than 75 minutes of intensive massage therapy.  This was one of those genuine “ten minute miracles” EFT is famous for.  They certainly don’t happen every time, or even all that often.  And expecting instant results can lead to disappointment and giving up, when sometimes persistence is vital.  But they really do happen sometimes, and it’s a wonderful experience.

I told Judy that I didn’t know if we’d solved the problem forever, but if it came back then she’d be able to tap on the pain as soon as it was noticeable, and before it got very bad. She loved the idea of being in control of the situation, after so many years of feeling victimized by the injury.

I saw Judy one last time, about four months later.  She called for a massage and I assumed her neck had started hurting again, but she said no—it was just a little tension in her lower back from doing yoga.  I think she’d almost forgotten she’d had a chronic neck problem for most of a decade.

So this is how I lost a regular massage client to EFT, but I’m not complaining!  It’s an incredible joy to see someone heal like that.  I’m so grateful to Gary Craig and all my teachers for this wonderful healing miracle.


Rob Nelson –

3 Massive Mistakes that keep Professional Women Stuck – Guest article from Jenny Johnston

The 3 Massive Mistakes that Professional Women make that keep them Stuck, Overwhelmed and feeling like the Life is being Drained out of them.


The first massive mistake that Professional Women make who feel stuck, overwhelmed and feel that the life is being drained out of them, is that they believe Change is too hard and scary!

Have you ever stood on the edge of a mountain cliff wanting to jump to another mountain which is much more desirable? Do you focus on how great it will be on the other mountain or worry about how deep the canyon is between? Change can mean risking what is known, safe and where you know the earth beneath your feet. You know where you stand is safe and you know what you are doing but it’s no longer providing you with pleasure, excitement and passion and you want more out of your life and career. The human experience is to avoid stress and change as part of survival but what if the stress from staying put is burning you out and keeping you stuck in a career that is slowly draining the life out of you. Is it better to stay drained, stuck and burnt out than to risk jumping somewhere into the unknown?

Let me give you a story close to my heart.

My own daughter was in a very good, well paid, corporate job in the city, which took 3 hours of travel a day and many hours of her ‘spare’ time and required being in the ‘concrete jungle’ and ‘corporate dog-eat-dog’ environment, as she described it. She was constantly stressed, tired, burnt out and felt stuck. She told me that she felt she had ‘sold her soul to the devil’. She really wanted to be in a different kind of work environment and to contribute to the planet and humanity. Her biggest fear was change. She was really good at what she did. It was very specialised and she had done 4 years at University plus many years of specialised ‘on the job training’. She felt that she would let those who had trained her, who she respected, down. She was afraid to change. It was way too scary for her. She began to get physically sick with stress. More colds, allergies, sore throats, headaches. More time off work. I knew that her stress and anxiety at work was making her sick and she was too scared to change. The fear itself of change was also contributing to her physical symptoms. I’m happy to say that she applied the 2 principles below to begin her process of change and along with persistence and holding the vision, she now has a new career that blended what she was really good at and trained in, with a new aspect in a smaller company, 5 mins away from her. She is on a slightly less income but no longer spends 3 hours a day travelling and all the associated money involved in that. Her quality of life has changed and she is happy, healthy and fulfilled and there is even time for her to spend more time on her creative passions of painting and drawing which give her great satisfaction, joy and fulfilment and may even create more income for her in the future. She also has more opportunities for growth in this smaller company and she wonders why she stayed stuck, physically sick and overwhelmed for so long.

Statistics say that up to 95% of people who visit doctors do so because of stress! Change is stressful and stress causes ‘dis-ease’. The thought of jumping off a cliff to something different is scary and stressful and contributes to making you sick, especially if you stand long enough on the cliff edge, stuck and having the life drained out of you. I’m not talking about little changes, I’m speaking about big, life changing career changes. The longer you stand on the cliff edge worrying about jumping and being subjected to feeling burnt out, stuck and in a career that’s draining the life out of you, the more likely you are allowing a chronic, dangerous stress response ‘dis-ease’ into your body without even knowing it. When you don’t say ‘No!’ , you’re body may do it for you! There’s a great book written by Dr  Gabor Mate, called “When the Body says No”. It explains how many people with chronic diseases like MS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, have similar background stories of not saying ‘No’ to something that was causing them stress, so their body said ‘No’ for them in a big physical way! If you are standing on the edge of the cliff wanting to change but scared of jumping, you need to do something or risk your body doing it for you!

I had a client who had MS. She described herself as a ‘good girl’ who always wanted to please her parents. When they told her to study to become an accountant (in their eyes it was a reliable, good job), she went along with it, not wanting to disappoint them. As the years went on, she hated what she did but couldn’t change as she couldn’t go against what her parents had chosen for her. Every fibre of her being didn’t want to be an accountant. She dreamed of making a difference to others and being in a helping profession. Her body developed MS! Her body got her out of the job! Now she is in the helping professions but first she had to help herself. Change is scary but Not changing is even scarier! If you would like to check a physical symptom that you have that you suspect may come from stress, you may like to look at this book that I recommend to all my students – “The Secret Language of Your Body” by Inna Segal.

How do you change? Here are a few steps to help you begin to change, the same ones that I gave my daughter and my student.

1. Visualise and feel what it’s like on the other side!

Focus on what it would feel like already being on the other side(where you want to be, even if you don’t physically know where that is), in the fulfilling career that you want. If you don’t know what that career is, focus on the feelings you want to feel eg. Feeling like you are contributing to others, feeling respected, feeling like you are making a difference, feeling like you are recognised for what you do, supported fully etc. Feel what it feels like being excited and passionate about what you do, looking forward to each day, the feeling that you can’t wait to be in your ‘sweet spot’, the place you are meant to be in.

2. Journal what your fears and limiting beliefs are and when they are triggered.

Make a note of the fears that keep popping up that keep you from jumping and changing and just recognise that they are there so that you can address them and dissolve them. Know that the limiting beliefs that you have, that block you from moving forward, have been learned and play at a subconscious automatic level. Know that whatever you learned, you can unlearn. For now, just notice them, journal them, when they are triggered and when was the first time you felt this – in your body, your emotions, your thoughts.

3. Apply Quantum EFT.

The stress that you experience can also be turned around at an energetic, subconscious and automatic level and you can learn how to do that for yourself when you learn how to apply Quantum EFT. This is a new cutting edge energy psychology technique that’s simple to learn and like all things, takes practise to master. You can apply it to your fears and limiting beliefs, dissolving them and creating healthy, positive new ones, opening up new ideas and actions at a subconscious and conscious level. I will tell you more about that soon.

So you may now say, “What if I do jump and choose change?” Or what if I can change over time like a caterpillar and have time to prepare myself and learn new skills first. Either way, whatever resonates with you, is right for you. You can learn to tune into your own inner intuitive voice and feelings and distinguish them from the survival mode, fearful ones that your limiting belief patterns are trying to protect you with, based on past experiences or learning from others. What if you chose something that you were excited about in school and failed miserably at it and felt shame, embarrassment, guilt or failed? Your subconscious memory, body and emotions are shouting at you – don’t try to change, remember last time – it didn’t go well at all! You can learn to change that protection mechanism right at the subconscious and energetic body level with Quantum EFT, right at the source of where it occurred, under the radar. Quantum EFT will help you find the origin, dissolve the stress reaction/protection and let your subconscious and body relax.

Ok, so you choose to get out of stress and jump off the cliff to get to the other side. What happens now? You are ‘in the air’ and not sure who you are anymore. You are in the midst of change! You may feel the stress of transitioning, of not knowing who you are anymore. You may say, “If I’m no longer that person who did that job, who am I?” You may feel guilt. ” I studied for so long to be doing what I used to do. What will other people say? I should have been grateful for what I had. People may judge me! I might judge myself. What if I’m unsure what to do now? I’m up in the air! Help? I’m in transition”.

The Second massive mistake that Profession Women make when stuck, overwhelmed and feeling like the life is being drained out of them is fearing their loss of identity.

When a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it has no idea what is happening next and totally looses it’s identity as a caterpillar. In fact it becomes a big lump of blob! Many professional women fear that they won’t know who they are anymore if they change/transform or jump. Just like a caterpillar, trust that you are in transition and let the process of ‘nature’ take you to where you need to go. Relax into it, after all you can’t go back, so once again, focus on where you are headed and feel the good feelings of being there. You will never ‘lose’ the skills and knowledge that you have gained from your present career and you may even be able to blend some of them into your new career/job. You may have heard the old saying, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water’. Just because you want to head in another direction doesn’t mean you will need to throw out all that you’ve learned. You may be surprised at how you can combine what you know with another skill or modality and  enhance what you do now, dissolving the drained, overwhelmed, stuck feelings. Change your feelings and you can choose whether to change or transform your career. You may choose to transition slowly into a new career. Instead of fearing that you have jumped without a ‘Safety Net’, that you will have no money and that you may fail or go ‘splat!’, why not look at gradually changing.

In my own case, I was sick of a 9-5 job and wanted the flexibility of working for myself but was afraid to let go of my University trained, Bachelor of Applied Science degree and very safe job that paid my mortgage and bills and created the lifestyle I was used to. Who would I be if I wasn’t that person? So for a few years I built up a Private Business on weekends until I was able to gradually cut back my work days form 5 to 4 to 3 then my private work was earning enough to quit completely. I did work on Saturdays for a while to get there but I really loved it and felt satisfied that I was fulfilling my purpose and I really felt satisfied and proud of myself and what I created. A few more years down the track, I was ready for another change and began another heart based, intuitive, energy based business and again began to study, learn, practise and began building clients and running workshops until I chose to jump off the cliff and go for it and now I get to help others do the same. I sold my private business that I had built up with pride over all those years to move full-time into another one that I was more passionate about. It wasn’t yet producing the same income but it had great foundations and potential. So I ‘threw mat hat over the fence’ and ‘jumped’. I became the Founder of Quantum EFT, combining my skills as a Hypnotherapist, Occupational Therapist and EFT practitioner with my intuition and spiritual beliefs. I feel like I’m right where I’m meant to be now, in my ‘sweet spot’ and I keep visualising the feeling of being able to give other professional women what I have on a Global Level.

I learned what to do and not to do as a Profession Woman to clear my fears, overwhelm and limiting beliefs when I felt stuck and felt like my job was sucking the life out of me. When you are in overwhelm and feel burnt out, you are incapable of thinking clearly about the future, as you are so stressed that the blood has drained from your ‘thinking part’ of your brain and you are in survival mode.

Quantum EFT helps you to dissolve the adrenalin and cortisol that’s pumping through your body through the sympathetic nervous system. You are then engaging the subconscious and counter-conditioning the stress response with the relaxation response through the parasympathetic nervous system, rewriting the subconscious patterns and beliefs. This then enables you to plan, think and create without fear or confusion, without feeling stuck, burnt out or overwhelmed and without fearing change or loss of identity.

Imagine feeling excited about change instead of fearing it. Imagine feeling calm about making a change either through a gradual transformation that excites you or through a jump into a new area. Imagine dissolving fear, guilt, shame, judgement and all negative feelings and emotions that you learned and practised automatically. What if it is possible to feel at ease with your transforming state of being and feel ‘safe’ that you will not end up in failure with no money and going ‘splat’. I have changed careers applying Quantum EFT and made the transformation with excitement, ease and grace. Are you willing to make the change and hold out your hand? Isn’t it time you were standing in your ‘sweet spot’ and looking back and saying, “Wow, what a ride, I’m so glad I took that first step”.

3. The third mistake Professional Women make is that they allow the fear of landing at the bottom, of failing, of having no money, stop them in their tracks and keep them trapped in feeling stuck, overwhelmed and that the life is being drained out of them.

Once again, this fear or feeling of being ‘frozen in your tracks’ will keep you stuck, overwhelmed and drained. It’s fear based survival mode learning at the subconscious level that is being played over like a tape at the automatic level in the brain, body and energy and it can be re-written! Isn’t that great news! Your body has just been trying to protect you and you can let it know energetically and at a subconscious level that you no longer need that protection by applying Quantum EFT at the source of where you learned it, dissolving it permanently and re-programming yourself for success and relaxation. You have a right to be safe, happy, passionate, energetic and in your sweet spot in your career and I have the program to teach you how to have that for yourself.

See here –

Finding the Roots of Fibromyalgia – guest article via Rob Nelson

Finding the Roots of Fibromyalgia

“Sarah” was typical of my Fibromyalgia clients.  She’d been through the wringer of western medicine and alternative therapies.  Nothing had really helped, or at least not for long. For her, EFT was just another in a long series of attempts to get her life back. She knew almost nothing about it and I don’t think she was really hoping for much.

It can be challenging working with auto-immune clients—they often they have a hard time coming up with any sort of emotional problems from their past.  Everything was great.  They had a happy childhood.  Nothing bad happened.  Really.

And of course this is most unlikely.  Rather there’s some trouble processing difficult emotions like fear or anger, so the memories are repressed and the feelings get worked out indirectly through the body.  And very these are memories encoded with a belief that life isn’t safe—the world is a dangerous place.  And these beliefs are supercharged by intense fear.  This is what their body has to deal with.

If you think about the immune system, its job is to fight off dangerous intruders—usually bacteria or a virus.  But when intense fear is always running through the body, the immune system gets put on high alert.  It becomes hyper-vigilant and hyper-sensitive.

I believe this is the underlying cause of most allergies and auto-immune disease.  The immune system must find something to fight.  If there is no real threat, that ‘something’ may become harmless pollen or worse still, the body itself.

I’m afraid that I rather badgered Sarah, trying to get her past the happy childhood story.  We did a lot of EFT on anything and everything that came up and perhaps relief from this tapping built up enough trust in the process that finally she came out with the following story:

Sarah, age 19, was at her boyfriend’s house.  He was a very big boyfriend—a 6’5” football player, weighing in around 280 pounds.  Unbeknownst to Sarah, he was also taking a lot of steroids and speed, which may explain what happened next.

They were just sitting down talking when something she said triggered a sudden, violent reaction in him.  With no warning, he grabbed Sarah and began screaming at her, cursing and hitting her, thrashing her around.  She tried to fight back, and even kicked him in the groin, but this only made him angrier.  Soon he had his hands around her neck and was choking her.  He bashed her head against the wall and she was knocked unconscious.

When Sarah came to, she was wrapped up in a tarp and he was pouring gasoline on her!  Apparently he thought he’d beaten her to death and was going to burn the evidence.  At that moment his mother came home and intervened, saving my client from a gruesome death.

While she’d been unconscious, her drug crazed boyfriend had severely beaten her. He had also raped her.  Sometime later she discovered that she was pregnant and ended up having an abortion.
“But”, she told me, “I already dealt with this in therapy”.

The part of the brain that handles emotional trauma does not use words.  It’s much older than the formal language centers of the neo-cortex.  That’s why words alone can’t discharge these traumatic experiences.  That’s why we do the tapping.  Her memory was not “dealt with” at all.  It was still wreaking havoc on her body.

I asked Sarah to humor me, and had her make contact with that 19 year old self who was being choked.  I had her imagine stepping into the scene as her adult self.  To Sarah’s surprise, this younger self was stuck in an extreme state of terror, confusion and helplessness.

I had Sarah ask her younger self what she’d learned in that moment.  She told us that life is violent, unpredictable and “there’s nothing you can do”.  This belief, energized by the terrible emotional intensity of the moment, became a powerful set of perceptual filters.  This is how Sarah had been seeing the world for the past 15 years.  And this likely set her immune system on red alert.

We were able to quickly tap away the emotional distress of the younger self, and then worked to visualize and experience a much better alternative ending (involving a Taser!).  Sarah’s younger self felt not only safe again, but also much more empowered and capable—as did Sarah.

Of course, healing from 8 years of chronic illness isn’t likely to happen overnight.  Fibromyalgia isn’t a “one minute miracle” kind of issue, and more sessions may be needed to tackle waking up to the gasoline, or the trauma of the abortion.  Still, I believe we made real progress toward resolving Sarah’s health problems and wanted to share this amazing story.

copyright 2012 Rob Nelson –

Elevating your Life – reposting article by Brad Yates

What if there was a tool you could use to decrease stress, help with physical pain, stop food cravings and change limiting beliefs? The Emotional Freedom Technique, known as EFT or Tapping, can do this and so much more.

EFT expert and co-author of the bestselling book “Freedom at Your Fingertips,” Brad Yates, joined Elevated Existence Magazine founder, Tamy Masetroberte, as part of the Living an Elevated Existence Mind, Body & Soul Summit to talk about the topic, and even walked listeners through a 10-minute tapping exercise.

“EFT is based on acupuncture and Chinese medicine, which has been around for thousands of years,” Yates said on the call. “In Chinese medicine, they say there is a flow of energy through these pathways in the body call meridians, and when this energy is flowing naturally we experience this natural state of wellbeing in body and mind. When this energy gets stuck somehow, then we don’t feel so good.”

By tapping on the eight key points given by EFT, we are balancing out the energy and getting it flowing again so we feel good and can clear out disruptions such as sadness, anxiety, anger and pain. Research has also been done showing the tapping process dramatically reduces stress. Particularly cortisol levels are reduced, which is one of the stress hormones, said Yates.

EFT & Emotions

Using EFT to bring down stress, fear and anxiety can offer immediate relief, and by getting our emotions under control, we can make better choices in our lives, said Yates. Most choices are made at the emotional level, and when they are not being made consciously, they are unconscious and based on our emotions.

“If we have uncomfortable emotions going on, and fears like, ‘I’m afraid to have more money then my friends,’ or ‘I’m afraid if I lose weight I might be more attractive, and I’ll have to get into a relationship, and relationships are painful.’ All of this stuff goes on at an unconscious level,” Yates said. “All we know is ‘hmmm, I wanted something to eat, and I was going to have a carrot and instead I ate a box of cookies.’ We make all those choices at an emotional level, and if we can use the tapping to clear out those uncomfortable emotions that so often drive unhealthy choices and unhealthy behavior, we can live a more elevated life.”

Each of the points we tap on with EFT is actually an endpoint along different meridians in the body, and each corresponds to a different organ in the body. These organs are also associated with different emotions, Yates said.

“The great thing about tapping is we are focusing on so many different emotions and so many different points, that we don’t have to narrow in because everything is so inter-related,” he noted. “When we are tapping all the different points we are covering our bases.”

Our emotions are designed to protect us and let us know when something is going on that needs our attention – similar to a smoke detector in our home, according to Yates. Anger is like having a smoke detector. It let’s us know something is going on that we need to look into. However, many people will sit and complain that smoke alarm is going off, and wont get up to turn it off or see if there is a fire, he noted.

“It’s not a matter of, ‘quick lets tap and make sure we get rid of that bad feeling.’ It’s a matter of ‘I’m going to process this and find out.’ So when the smoke detector goes off, is it a battery that needs to be changed, or is there really a fire that needs to be put out,” he said on the call.

The tapping process is a way of getting through our emotions to see what is really going on underneath. If we are feeling sad, or reaching for the cookies, tapping can help us find out why. Maybe we are really upset about an argument with a friend that brought up an issue from the past.

“With the nervous system, when we perceive a threat, our brain function goes to the midbrain and into fight or flight. Then when we realize the danger has passed, the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in and our thinking returns to the frontal brain where we have creative thinking, are open minded and can think more clearly,” Yates explained. “The tapping helps to move us back into that. It moves us back into the parasympathetic nervous system and helps us make better choices, and do better things and live a better life.”

Pain & Food Cravings

One of the fastest ways to see how EFT works is to use it on pain – whether its someone dealing with fibromyalgia, back pain or a migraine. Often tapping on pain will also help our stress level, and vice versa, because the two are usually tied together.

“So much of the pain we experience has stress in it. I’ve heard people say 75 percent to 90 percent of physical pain is emotional. As we clear that out, we are clearing out the uncomfortable feelings that we have about it,” Yates said. “It’s not just the physical pain going on, but also all this physical disruption in our mind. As we clear the stress, our body naturally heals itself. So we start healing more quickly.”

It’s not abnormal for someone to tap on a physical pain, and then discover as the pain clears, so does anger about an argument with a friend, he noted. The same is true for someone who may be tapping on sadness, and then find relief from a physical pain.

Another way EFT can help is to release a person from cravings including sugar and chocolate. Yates shared a story of attending an EFT conference with founder of the technique, Gary Craig, who passed out Hershey Kisses, and asked how badly on a scale of 1 to 10 people wanted to eat it. Then led them through a round of tapping.

“I was a chocoholic at the time, so I said, about an 8,” he shared. “We tapped for a few minutes, and I had about as much interest in the chocolate as I did the foil wrapper. And I don’t think I even touched chocolate for about 2 years.”

The same tapping structure is used not matter what the issue is, and if we are in public, can even work if we are only tapping on one point. The wording we use helps to bring up the issues that may be lurking in our unconscious mind that may have an emotional charge to it.

We can even use tapping to raise our vibration and attract more good into our lives because when we feel better, we create better things for ourselves.

“If you think of a hot air balloon, it’s untethered. It just rises. An elevated life is our default position. It’s our natural state. We don’t’ have to push ourselves up into an elevated life. That is our natural tendency. It’s these ropes that tie us down – these uncomfortable feelings and old limiting beliefs that hold us back. So as we release and untie these ropes we naturally rise to a more elevate life,” Yates said.

From elevatedexistancewebsite


Overcoming a Child’s Dental Fears – by Kim Cook

A young girl (9 years old) was going to the dentist to have four teeth extracted so that orthodontic work could be done. She would have two extracted at the first appointment and then the following week she would go back to have the other two removed. I offered EFT to her since we have tapped together many times before and had great results. I asked her what she was thinking about in regards to getting her teeth pulled out. She was scared about the pain that she might feel when the dentist was pulling them out. She has never had teeth pulled out before however she has had teeth naturally fall out when they were ready. She didn’t have an exact reason why she was scared i.e., she hasn’t had siblings or friends go through it, but none the less she was scared about the pain. SUD’s level doesn’t seem to resonate with her so I asked her to show me with her arms how scared she was.

Not scared at all: arms extending in front of her body with hands and arms touching.

Very scared: arms stretched out on either side of her body.

From the distance her arms were apart I rated it in my own head a SUD’s of 7. I then asked her how she knew she was this scared about the pain and she said, “My stomach is really turning.” I asked, “How bad is it?” She rated it a 9 with her arms. We began tapping.

Even though I am scared of the pain I might feel I am a great kid.

Even though my stomach is really turning I am a great kid.

Even though I am really scared to do this I am a great kid.

EB: scared of the pain

SE: my stomach is turning

UE: really scared to do this

UN: scared of the pain I will feel

CH: why do I have to do this?

KB: my stomach is turning

UA: I am really scared that there will be a lot of pain

TH: this will hurt me

We took a deep breath and had a drink of water.

I had her again rate how scared she was that she might feel pain. Her SUD’s (using her arms) went down to approximately 2. SUD’s for stomach turning went down to a 3.

Slight Reframe in the Set-Up

Even though I am still scared that I might feel pain since I haven’t ever done this before maybe I’ll be ok.

Even though I am still scared to get my teeth pulled and my stomach is still turning maybe I will be okay.

Even though I am still a little scared because I don’t know what to expect maybe I will get through this okay, I am a strong kid.

EB: still scared

SE: stomach still turning

UE: maybe I will be okay

UN: maybe this will not be so bad

CH: I still feel a little scared

KB: stomach still turning a little bit

UA: don’t want to be in pain

TH: little scared

SUD’s Level down to a 1 on both scared and stomach turning.


EB: maybe I will get through this

SE: I am a strong kid

UE: I am going to be okay

UN: I can do this

CH: I will get through this because I am strong

KB: I feel strong

UA: I am strong

TH: I will get through this okay because I am me…

SUD’s Level now 0 for both.

She said, “Well I am not really scared of the pain, it’s the blood in my mouth that I don’t want to taste; that would be gross.” (New aspect had surfaced)

SUD’s Level 5 on this statement. I ask her, “Do you feel this anywhere in your body?” She says, “My mouth is really dry.” SUD’s level for mouth: 6

Even though I don’t want to taste blood in my mouth because that is gross I am a good kid.

Even though I may taste blood and I don’t want to, I think I am going to be okay.

Even though right now my mouth is dry thinking about the blood I am a good kid.

EB: don’t want to taste blood

SE: it’s gross tasting

UE: don’t like the taste of blood in my mouth

UN: my mouth is dry

CH: blood is so gross tasting

KB: thinking about it makes my mouth dry

UA: the taste of blood is gross to me

She had a big yawn. Nice release.

TH: blood in my mouth….gross

Reframe: (she was getting bored with this tapping round)

EB: blood in my mouth is gross

SE: I’ve tasted it before when I lost my tooth when I was younger

UE: It’s really not that big a deal

UN: I don’t like it, but I have had teeth fall out and the blood was no big deal

CH: it probably won’t be a big deal this time either

KB: it’s just a little blood and I can just spit it out

UA: this is no big deal to me

TH: I can do this

She looked completely bored with the tapping. I asked, “How do you feel now about tasting blood in your mouth?” Her response was, “I don’t know. I don’t want to taste it because it tastes gross, but I know that I can just spit it out in that little cup.” (Cognitive shift) Her mouth was no longer as dry as it was. I asked her to close her eyes and picture herself sitting in the dentist’s chair and she had just had the first tooth pulled. She told me that she could see herself spitting out the blood into the cup and she didn’t like that taste of it, but it didn’t bother her. However (new aspect) she could smell the dental office and she hates that smell.

SUD’s level for the smell of the dental office was a 4; she didn’t seem to have any sensations in her body in relation to this.

Even though I hate the smell of the dentist’s office I am a good kid.

Even though I can smell that smell as soon as I walk in and I don’t like it I am a good kid.

Even though I hate that smell I am going to be okay.

EB: I hate that smell

SE: what is that smell

UE: the smell of the dentist’s office makes me not want to go in there

UN: that smell

CH: I hate it

CB: smells so bad to me

UA: I don’t like that smell when I am in there

TH: I wish it wasn’t there

I was losing her again with boredom.


EB: I hate that smell

SE: but it is just a smell

UA: it’s not that big a deal

UN: I smell things I don’t like all the time

CB: it’s just another smell

UA: no big deal

TH: I can deal with it

SUD’s level on smell down from a 4 to a 0.

At this point I asked her if she had any other things about her dental appointment that she wanted to work on. “No” she said, “I just want to go play for a few minutes before we have to leave.”

The appointment went very well. During the entire appointment, while she was being worked on, I just simply tapped on all of her fingertip points so that if she was going through anything hopefully we were taking care of it right there in the moment. She had two teeth extracted and although there was some blood the dentist actually said that there wasn’t as much as he expected. We came home that evening and her mouth had been packed with gauze to absorb anymore blood. The dentist called a couple hours later to check in with us. He asked how many times I had to change the gauze and I said, “None, she took the gauze out of her mouth on the drive home and there has been no bleeding except for what was on the original gauze.” The dentist seemed very surprised at this and told her that, “She was doing very well.” She ate dinner that night and went to school the next day as though she hadn’t even gone through the procedure. For the next couple of days I continued to check in with her regarding pain, blood or any other discomfort. The only thing that bothered her was when food got into the holes of her gums, but other than that she said that she was fine.

One Week Later

The night before her appointment I asked if there was anything that she wanted to tap on. Her answer was, “No, it wasn’t really that bad last week. I know I will be okay tomorrow.” What a great thing to hear, nice cognitive shift. The next day in the car ride to the dentist (45 minutes) she became very quiet, which isn’t typical, so I asked her if she was okay. She said she was fine but I could hear in her voice it wasn’t exactly true. A few minutes passed and I decided to turn my rear view mirror down to face her. I could see her tapping away. I did not interrupt her because I knew she was giving herself a fabulous gift by helping herself through whatever emotions, feelings or thoughts she was facing. She tapped for about 7 minutes. She had been so focused on tapping that she never even saw me in the mirror until after she was done. I asked her if she felt comfortable telling me what she had just tapped on. I was surprised to hear what it was. She said that the only thing that had bothered her last week at the dentist was that her jaw had hurt quite-a-bit because she had to keep her mouth open for so long. She said that her jaw hurt toward the end of the appointment and it still had bothered her some the next day. She blamed that not only on her mouth having to stay open but also on the dentists “fat fingers”. I had to chuckle at this, but she said she was actually tapping on “his fat fingers in my mouth.”

Her second appointment went just as well as the first and although there didn’t seem to be any other aspects I continued to tap on her fingertip points during the entire appointment. The appointment was quicker than the first, bleeding was minimal during and after, she experienced no pain just slight tugging during the extractions and the best thing for her was that her jaw didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had the week before. She explained her jaw as being “More tired than painful” this time. After we returned home I offered her EFT for her “tired jaw” but she said that she would tap for herself if she thought that she needed it. She is a very independent 9 year old and since she had done such a great job in the car I decided to completely trust her and allow her to tap if or when she needed to. I watched her at dinner time for any signs of distress, but saw none. As she climbed into bed that evening I asked her how she was doing and she said, “I feel good and my jaw isn’t even tired.” I gave her great praise for helping herself with this wonderful tool that she has learned. As far as I am concerned EFT completely transformed this potentially unpleasant experience into a completely tolerable situation. And the best part for me as a parent is in knowing that my daughter now has the ability to help herself in any situation that comes her way. And she has pride in knowing that she is able to help herself. Even though I have used EFT for years it amazes me each time I see the results. This child is 9 years old and now she has a tool that she can use for life. What an incredible gift.


Childs’ Dental Fears
1.How rapport was established at the begging of the session, and what you did to make the client comfortable in the clinical setting. I didn’t have this child in my office. We were actually sitting on her bed which made her feel more comfortable and at ease. I made good eye contact with her and after she spoke I always repeated what she said to make sure I had it right and that I was using her words in the EFT rounds.
2.How did you explain to the client what to expect? Client already has used EFT many times in the past for falls, fear of bees, friend issues etc. She likes using EFT, but only on her terms, so I never push her into tapping. I usually ask if I can help and then I allow her to come to me when and if she is ready.
3.Was there a discussion of confidentiality, and/or signing of Informed Consent? This client knows that anything that we talk about is strictly between her and me. I do not talk to anyone about our sessions unless she has brought it up and given me permission. She feels very comfortable in confiding in me about her issues and concerns.
4.How did you demonstrate presence with the client? I listen very well and always try to repeat back to my client what I have heard. I want to make sure that I use their words and that I am hearing and interpreting correctly exactly what they have said. I also use good eye contact when appropriate. (Some clients are uncomfortable with strong eye contact.) I usually work with this client in a very comfortable, casual setting such as, outside on the grass, sitting on her bed or the couch. This allows her and I to be more relaxed and playful with EFT, instead of official (which would completely block her from sharing).
5.If a new technique was introduced, did you explain what would happen? We usually tap only on the shortcut points; however she does know the entire EFT long version. I did get her permission to tap on her fingertip points while she was having her dental procedure done. I told her that if at any time she wanted me to stop tapping she could just gently pull her hand away (she never did).
6.Was there a core issue underneath the presenting issue, and, if so, how was that discovered and handled? I asked her in the very beginning of the session why she felt she had the fear. We determined that no one she knew had experienced this before, so she wasn’t hooked into their trauma or belief. We couldn’t establish any past core issues.

Closure: I let her know that anytime she had something come up that she wanted to tap on I was there for her. I also watched her closely for any signs of distress and discomfort. Since she doesn’t always come to me I made sure that I checked in with her often to see if there were any other aspects, new fears etc…that needed to be worked with.

-Kim Cook
EFT INT-1 Practitioner

Reduce the Stress, Regain your Life!

Wouldn’t it be good to reduce the major stress responses you are having in
your life? How long has it been since you were really at peace with yourself?

Do you stress about deadlines, family gatherings, work reviews?

Do you use anxiety to motivate yourself to get things done?

Do you believe anger keeps you safe?

Do you get overwhelmed and just retreat, shut yourself down, and let others do what they want?

Do you make nice just to get by?

All that is your Fight or Flight system being over-activated. This is an ancient survival system meant for physical emergencies, not the every day stress we tackle these days.

Nowadays we use it to run our daily lives. We get our adrenaline up to start writing at the computer.

This misuse is very wearing on your body, emotional life, mental abilities and relationships.

There are better ways. Its called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping as it’s commonly referred to.

And if you could get your Fight/Flight/Freeze reactions to calm down, think of the health benefits!

I’ll show you how and you’ll actually start doing it. You can have more calm, better health and emotional well-being. You’ll actually be safer, and you’ll get things done better, with less stress.

Book a session via Skype Video and see for yourself the positive changes you can have!

EFT/Tapping Each Day Keeps the Cravings Away!

OK, its holiday time.

That means lots more social get-togethers, family events, and FOOD!

There can be so many challenges during the holiday season that are
food related. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) or Tapping as it is
often called, comes in very handy, and can literally be at your

You can zap your food cravings and dissolve blocked energy and old
patterns that are stuck at a cellular and subconscious level.

Recognize that this is an emotional issues, not really a FOOD issue
at all.

Get in touch with me if you would like to get a jump on those
holiday cravings and stop the binges before they start!

On To A Better Life!

This was going around a few months back, but in case you missed it….

Sixteen Small Steps Toward Happiness

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world – start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier – start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

9. organize your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

10. have a luxurious shower with your favorite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturizer, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behavior. realize you can learn from your dog.

12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

by Emma Elsworthy

Thanks to Rob Nelson for reminding us of these ideas. His address:

What is difficult about your life!

Think of something that feels hard about your life.
It could be

  • your next level of accomplishment
  • your relationship to someone in particular
  • a divorce, separation, marriage, death in the family
  • your physical health
  • finances
  • a project, job or task that feels overwhelming
  • something you have to learn
  • a big transition that’s coming up
  • a change at work
  • your life itself

Anything strike your attention from that list? It may seem like “That’s just the way it is.”
But what if part that is in your own mind – a series of reaction patterns that take you to a familiar place of feeling how hard it is? (Actually, where else would it be but in your own mind?)

Those patterns can be deconstructed painlessly and easily. If you’d like to know how, keep reading.
As you change those reaction patterns you naturally move from feeling stuck, down, frustrated, weak and “not smart.”
Instead you have energy, even excitement, you see new possibilities and insights. You may get a completely different sense of the whole thing.

That’s were EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) can help, and very quickly.

Collapse the stuff you don’t want in your life, and celebrate what you do want in your life!  EFT is a much quicker process to get you to where you want to go, than endless “talk therapy”.  Give it a try.  A beautiful life is waiting for you.