The 3 Massive Mistakes that Professional Women make that keep them Stuck, Overwhelmed and feeling like the Life is being Drained out of them.
The first massive mistake that Professional Women make who feel stuck, overwhelmed and feel that the life is being drained out of them, is that they believe Change is too hard and scary!
Have you ever stood on the edge of a mountain cliff wanting to jump to another mountain which is much more desirable? Do you focus on how great it will be on the other mountain or worry about how deep the canyon is between? Change can mean risking what is known, safe and where you know the earth beneath your feet. You know where you stand is safe and you know what you are doing but it’s no longer providing you with pleasure, excitement and passion and you want more out of your life and career. The human experience is to avoid stress and change as part of survival but what if the stress from staying put is burning you out and keeping you stuck in a career that is slowly draining the life out of you. Is it better to stay drained, stuck and burnt out than to risk jumping somewhere into the unknown?
Let me give you a story close to my heart.
My own daughter was in a very good, well paid, corporate job in the city, which took 3 hours of travel a day and many hours of her ‘spare’ time and required being in the ‘concrete jungle’ and ‘corporate dog-eat-dog’ environment, as she described it. She was constantly stressed, tired, burnt out and felt stuck. She told me that she felt she had ‘sold her soul to the devil’. She really wanted to be in a different kind of work environment and to contribute to the planet and humanity. Her biggest fear was change. She was really good at what she did. It was very specialised and she had done 4 years at University plus many years of specialised ‘on the job training’. She felt that she would let those who had trained her, who she respected, down. She was afraid to change. It was way too scary for her. She began to get physically sick with stress. More colds, allergies, sore throats, headaches. More time off work. I knew that her stress and anxiety at work was making her sick and she was too scared to change. The fear itself of change was also contributing to her physical symptoms. I’m happy to say that she applied the 2 principles below to begin her process of change and along with persistence and holding the vision, she now has a new career that blended what she was really good at and trained in, with a new aspect in a smaller company, 5 mins away from her. She is on a slightly less income but no longer spends 3 hours a day travelling and all the associated money involved in that. Her quality of life has changed and she is happy, healthy and fulfilled and there is even time for her to spend more time on her creative passions of painting and drawing which give her great satisfaction, joy and fulfilment and may even create more income for her in the future. She also has more opportunities for growth in this smaller company and she wonders why she stayed stuck, physically sick and overwhelmed for so long.
Statistics say that up to 95% of people who visit doctors do so because of stress! Change is stressful and stress causes ‘dis-ease’. The thought of jumping off a cliff to something different is scary and stressful and contributes to making you sick, especially if you stand long enough on the cliff edge, stuck and having the life drained out of you. I’m not talking about little changes, I’m speaking about big, life changing career changes. The longer you stand on the cliff edge worrying about jumping and being subjected to feeling burnt out, stuck and in a career that’s draining the life out of you, the more likely you are allowing a chronic, dangerous stress response ‘dis-ease’ into your body without even knowing it. When you don’t say ‘No!’ , you’re body may do it for you! There’s a great book written by Dr Gabor Mate, called “When the Body says No”. It explains how many people with chronic diseases like MS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, have similar background stories of not saying ‘No’ to something that was causing them stress, so their body said ‘No’ for them in a big physical way! If you are standing on the edge of the cliff wanting to change but scared of jumping, you need to do something or risk your body doing it for you!
I had a client who had MS. She described herself as a ‘good girl’ who always wanted to please her parents. When they told her to study to become an accountant (in their eyes it was a reliable, good job), she went along with it, not wanting to disappoint them. As the years went on, she hated what she did but couldn’t change as she couldn’t go against what her parents had chosen for her. Every fibre of her being didn’t want to be an accountant. She dreamed of making a difference to others and being in a helping profession. Her body developed MS! Her body got her out of the job! Now she is in the helping professions but first she had to help herself. Change is scary but Not changing is even scarier! If you would like to check a physical symptom that you have that you suspect may come from stress, you may like to look at this book that I recommend to all my students – “The Secret Language of Your Body” by Inna Segal.
How do you change? Here are a few steps to help you begin to change, the same ones that I gave my daughter and my student.
1. Visualise and feel what it’s like on the other side!
Focus on what it would feel like already being on the other side(where you want to be, even if you don’t physically know where that is), in the fulfilling career that you want. If you don’t know what that career is, focus on the feelings you want to feel eg. Feeling like you are contributing to others, feeling respected, feeling like you are making a difference, feeling like you are recognised for what you do, supported fully etc. Feel what it feels like being excited and passionate about what you do, looking forward to each day, the feeling that you can’t wait to be in your ‘sweet spot’, the place you are meant to be in.
2. Journal what your fears and limiting beliefs are and when they are triggered.
Make a note of the fears that keep popping up that keep you from jumping and changing and just recognise that they are there so that you can address them and dissolve them. Know that the limiting beliefs that you have, that block you from moving forward, have been learned and play at a subconscious automatic level. Know that whatever you learned, you can unlearn. For now, just notice them, journal them, when they are triggered and when was the first time you felt this – in your body, your emotions, your thoughts.
3. Apply Quantum EFT.
The stress that you experience can also be turned around at an energetic, subconscious and automatic level and you can learn how to do that for yourself when you learn how to apply Quantum EFT. This is a new cutting edge energy psychology technique that’s simple to learn and like all things, takes practise to master. You can apply it to your fears and limiting beliefs, dissolving them and creating healthy, positive new ones, opening up new ideas and actions at a subconscious and conscious level. I will tell you more about that soon.
So you may now say, “What if I do jump and choose change?” Or what if I can change over time like a caterpillar and have time to prepare myself and learn new skills first. Either way, whatever resonates with you, is right for you. You can learn to tune into your own inner intuitive voice and feelings and distinguish them from the survival mode, fearful ones that your limiting belief patterns are trying to protect you with, based on past experiences or learning from others. What if you chose something that you were excited about in school and failed miserably at it and felt shame, embarrassment, guilt or failed? Your subconscious memory, body and emotions are shouting at you – don’t try to change, remember last time – it didn’t go well at all! You can learn to change that protection mechanism right at the subconscious and energetic body level with Quantum EFT, right at the source of where it occurred, under the radar. Quantum EFT will help you find the origin, dissolve the stress reaction/protection and let your subconscious and body relax.
Ok, so you choose to get out of stress and jump off the cliff to get to the other side. What happens now? You are ‘in the air’ and not sure who you are anymore. You are in the midst of change! You may feel the stress of transitioning, of not knowing who you are anymore. You may say, “If I’m no longer that person who did that job, who am I?” You may feel guilt. ” I studied for so long to be doing what I used to do. What will other people say? I should have been grateful for what I had. People may judge me! I might judge myself. What if I’m unsure what to do now? I’m up in the air! Help? I’m in transition”.
The Second massive mistake that Profession Women make when stuck, overwhelmed and feeling like the life is being drained out of them is fearing their loss of identity.
When a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it has no idea what is happening next and totally looses it’s identity as a caterpillar. In fact it becomes a big lump of blob! Many professional women fear that they won’t know who they are anymore if they change/transform or jump. Just like a caterpillar, trust that you are in transition and let the process of ‘nature’ take you to where you need to go. Relax into it, after all you can’t go back, so once again, focus on where you are headed and feel the good feelings of being there. You will never ‘lose’ the skills and knowledge that you have gained from your present career and you may even be able to blend some of them into your new career/job. You may have heard the old saying, ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water’. Just because you want to head in another direction doesn’t mean you will need to throw out all that you’ve learned. You may be surprised at how you can combine what you know with another skill or modality and enhance what you do now, dissolving the drained, overwhelmed, stuck feelings. Change your feelings and you can choose whether to change or transform your career. You may choose to transition slowly into a new career. Instead of fearing that you have jumped without a ‘Safety Net’, that you will have no money and that you may fail or go ‘splat!’, why not look at gradually changing.
In my own case, I was sick of a 9-5 job and wanted the flexibility of working for myself but was afraid to let go of my University trained, Bachelor of Applied Science degree and very safe job that paid my mortgage and bills and created the lifestyle I was used to. Who would I be if I wasn’t that person? So for a few years I built up a Private Business on weekends until I was able to gradually cut back my work days form 5 to 4 to 3 then my private work was earning enough to quit completely. I did work on Saturdays for a while to get there but I really loved it and felt satisfied that I was fulfilling my purpose and I really felt satisfied and proud of myself and what I created. A few more years down the track, I was ready for another change and began another heart based, intuitive, energy based business and again began to study, learn, practise and began building clients and running workshops until I chose to jump off the cliff and go for it and now I get to help others do the same. I sold my private business that I had built up with pride over all those years to move full-time into another one that I was more passionate about. It wasn’t yet producing the same income but it had great foundations and potential. So I ‘threw mat hat over the fence’ and ‘jumped’. I became the Founder of Quantum EFT, combining my skills as a Hypnotherapist, Occupational Therapist and EFT practitioner with my intuition and spiritual beliefs. I feel like I’m right where I’m meant to be now, in my ‘sweet spot’ and I keep visualising the feeling of being able to give other professional women what I have on a Global Level.
I learned what to do and not to do as a Profession Woman to clear my fears, overwhelm and limiting beliefs when I felt stuck and felt like my job was sucking the life out of me. When you are in overwhelm and feel burnt out, you are incapable of thinking clearly about the future, as you are so stressed that the blood has drained from your ‘thinking part’ of your brain and you are in survival mode.
Quantum EFT helps you to dissolve the adrenalin and cortisol that’s pumping through your body through the sympathetic nervous system. You are then engaging the subconscious and counter-conditioning the stress response with the relaxation response through the parasympathetic nervous system, rewriting the subconscious patterns and beliefs. This then enables you to plan, think and create without fear or confusion, without feeling stuck, burnt out or overwhelmed and without fearing change or loss of identity.
Imagine feeling excited about change instead of fearing it. Imagine feeling calm about making a change either through a gradual transformation that excites you or through a jump into a new area. Imagine dissolving fear, guilt, shame, judgement and all negative feelings and emotions that you learned and practised automatically. What if it is possible to feel at ease with your transforming state of being and feel ‘safe’ that you will not end up in failure with no money and going ‘splat’. I have changed careers applying Quantum EFT and made the transformation with excitement, ease and grace. Are you willing to make the change and hold out your hand? Isn’t it time you were standing in your ‘sweet spot’ and looking back and saying, “Wow, what a ride, I’m so glad I took that first step”.
3. The third mistake Professional Women make is that they allow the fear of landing at the bottom, of failing, of having no money, stop them in their tracks and keep them trapped in feeling stuck, overwhelmed and that the life is being drained out of them.
Once again, this fear or feeling of being ‘frozen in your tracks’ will keep you stuck, overwhelmed and drained. It’s fear based survival mode learning at the subconscious level that is being played over like a tape at the automatic level in the brain, body and energy and it can be re-written! Isn’t that great news! Your body has just been trying to protect you and you can let it know energetically and at a subconscious level that you no longer need that protection by applying Quantum EFT at the source of where you learned it, dissolving it permanently and re-programming yourself for success and relaxation. You have a right to be safe, happy, passionate, energetic and in your sweet spot in your career and I have the program to teach you how to have that for yourself.
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